Southwest Side Stories: Forty in a Classroom > Comments > "Review of Southwest Side Stories: Forty in a Classroom"
Piece Comment
Commenter Profile
- Janie Shorty
- Username: janiejeter
- Location: Thoreau, NM
- Joined PRX: Jan 30, 2006
Piece Information
- "Southwest Side Stories: Forty in a Classroom"
- Summary: Overcrowded schools mean sixth grade in a mobile unit, seventh grade at a highschool.
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Review of Southwest Side Stories: Forty in a Classroom
Janie Shorty
Posted on April 12, 2006 at 01:58 PM
This piece was about a young girl telling a story about how the school she used to go to was so nice, clean, and spacious. Now that her little brother goes to school there, the place is crowded, smelly, and sticky. This piece is very descriptive, for instance throughout the story she describes about what you first see when you get there, what you smell, and how you would feel, "hot and sticky." Especially in the end when she talks about how she wishes she wanted things better for her little brother. One thing I think would've made this piece better is if the narrator were to interview her little brother and let him describe what it was like, and also tell us how she knows what it is really like now even though she doesn't have that class anymore. She had a really great description, she made me feel like was a student at that elementary, like I was dying to get into the great wide open and breath some fresh air. One thing that would have made this story better is if she talked about how this is a problem in a lot of schools in the whole country.