I agree that with better organization, this piece could be much larger than the blurb the narrator has made it. Poor transitions and a weak commentary do not do justice to the provacotive, well-rounded information and interviews from every angle of this story. The conclusion rubbed me the wrong way as well -- I thought it to be somewhat bold to state that this is a "problem is likely to plague the state for many years to come."
Story has great potential... but needs a harder edit.
Very fact-based and at times too overloaded.
Keep one thought, one main point per sentence.
Yes, you hear the voices of a former detainee, a youth mentor and an advocate but I would have like to hear a more personal story. Keep me caring about the subject.
Reporter has tremendous potential to turn this into a great piece if given the chance to work with an editor.
Comments for Juvenile Detention
Produced by Justin Levy
Other pieces by Justin Levy
Rating Summary
2 comments
Ra Ra
Posted on December 12, 2006 at 05:15 PM | Permalink
Review of Juvenile Detention
I agree that with better organization, this piece could be much larger than the blurb the narrator has made it. Poor transitions and a weak commentary do not do justice to the provacotive, well-rounded information and interviews from every angle of this story. The conclusion rubbed me the wrong way as well -- I thought it to be somewhat bold to state that this is a "problem is likely to plague the state for many years to come."
Traci Tong
Posted on December 12, 2006 at 04:41 PM | Permalink
Review of Juvenile Detention
Story has great potential... but needs a harder edit.
Very fact-based and at times too overloaded.
Keep one thought, one main point per sentence.
Yes, you hear the voices of a former detainee, a youth mentor and an advocate but I would have like to hear a more personal story. Keep me caring about the subject.
Reporter has tremendous potential to turn this into a great piece if given the chance to work with an editor.